In Clash of the Titans, baby Perseus and his mother Danae are locked into a wooden coffin and set adrift on the Aegean sea by Perseus' grandfather Acrisius, king of Argos. Prophecy foretold of the death of Acrisius at the hands of his daughter's son, so to prevent her from becoming pregnant, he had kept Danae prisoner at his palace with no access to potential mates. Little did he know that Zeus, king of gods and randy old perv, would seduce and impregnate Danae in the form of a "golden shower". To punish Acrisius for attempting to murder his son and baby mama, Zeus had Poseidon unleash the Kraken on Argos, killing Acrisius and fulfilling the prophecy; albeit in a very roundabout way.
Zeus proceeded to play an integral role in young Perseus' life, bestowing on him all the perks of being the son of a god. He ensured Perseus' safe passage to Seriphos, an island paradise where mother and child could while away the hours strolling naked along the beach, working on their tans and perfecting the art of trick riding. Perseus grows up to be a young man, blessed with good looks and an over abundance of self confidence. He is also totally devoid of charisma.
When spiteful sea god Thetis teleports Perseus to Joppa (specifically to force him to experience some 'real world' problems), Zeus demands that the gods gift Perseus with a super sharp sword, a shiny new shield, a robot owl sidekick, and best of all, a helmet that would make its wearer invisible. Perseus doesn't waste a single moment before using said helmet to break into the bedroom of the hottest chick in town, Princess Andromeda. Andromeda has been cursed by Thetis, so that any man who wishes to marry her must first answer a question, supplied by Thetis' love spurned son Calibos. Incorrect answers win the suitor death by immolation.
Upon discovering Andromeda's predicament, Perseus uses his invisibility helmet to sneak a look at the test. This enables him to stroll into the royal palace unannounced, present Andromeda with the severed hand of her ex-boyfriend, and win the competition. Thus, he can marry Andromeda and become king of Joppa - none of which would have been possible without a sprinkle of courage, a dash of magic, and a heaping pile of nepotism.
At its time of release, Clash of the Titans was clearly targeted at a young demographic, despite its depictions of violence, nudity and grotesque deformities. Action figures, colouring books and a board game were amongst the merchandise that was available; however, no official trading card set was released. To see more custom made trading cards from Clash of the Titans (and a bunch of others that never existed), follow the link or hit the tab at the top of the page.
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