Aunty Entity: A Mad Max Saga

 

Nefertiti Owens is known by many names - NTT to her friends, Vice Principal Owens to her colleagues, Aunty to her students. She is renowned amongst the faculty and greater community as level-headed and compassionate. When Nutbush High is one of seven sister schools chosen to send their football team on a goodwill tour of the South Pacific, Aunty is the obvious choice to lead the delegation. Two other Nutbush faculty members are quick to volunteer as chaperones - Ton Ton Tatsuhara, Music teacher and leader of the school band, and Elvis Ford, the diminutive Master of Science. 

 

Along with the full contingent of thirty Nutbush Thunderbolts comes the mentally handicapped team mascot Blaster, wearing his oversized mask with its trademark black eye and Oxford boater.

 

The tour is doomed from the start. Petrol shortages are an ever present threat, as are protest marches and the riots that follow. A terrorist attack precipitates the team's early departure from Australia, on what would be the last flight out of Sydney before the power grid collapses nationwide. A brilliant flash of light illuminates the northern skyline and the worst turbulence Aunty has ever experienced forces the pilot, Captain Walker, to set the plane down before he's even reached cruising altitude. 

 

The plane grinds to a halt atop the encroaching sand dunes beyond the city limits. The survivors split into two groups - Walker leads a group of women and children into the outback in search of the watering hole he claims to have spied from the air, while the other group, led by Aunty and her Thunderbolts, salvage what they can from the wreckage, including their team kit bags full of football gear. Aunty takes the lead as they begin the arduous journey back towards Sydney, with Mr Ford riding high on Blaster's shoulders.

 

Three blistering days into the trek, they stumble across a railway line and follow the tracks deeper into the desert. The tracks take them to a fortified farm with an onsite biogas facility, inhabited by dozens of pigs. The farm contains several working wells and a hefty supply of food for livestock. The survivors descend upon the squealing denizens of the farm. Ford, convinced that the pigs are worth more alive than dead, persuades Aunty to stop the hungry survivors and, with the help of her loyal Thunderbolts, she is able to do so. The seeds of the first law of Bartertown are planted on that day.

 

Aunty fashions her Thunderbolts into her own personal army, tasked with keeping the peace in their growing commune. They build Thunderdome in honour of their home field in Nutbush, Tennessee. It is a multipurpose venue, used to dispense information, settle disputes, and entertain the masses that are drawn to the lights produced by Ford in the cavernous biogas facility beneath the farm. 

 

Buoyed by the surrogate body of Blaster and his usefulness in the new world order, Ford becomes Master. Aunty recognises Master's confidence for exactly what it is; a challenge for rule of Bartertown. She has also grown accustomed to the vaunted position the end of the world has elevated her to, and has no desire to give it up. Aunty understands that Master's knowledge is a valuable commodity, so with the help of her closest allies, she conspires to remove the brain and dump the body. All she needs is a willing and capable assassin to complete the task. One might even go so far as to say, a hero.

Perseus, Son of Zeus: The Original Nepo Baby

In Clash of the Titans, baby Perseus and his mother Danae are locked into a wooden coffin and set adrift on the Aegean sea by Perseus' grandfather Acrisius, king of Argos. Prophecy foretold of the death of Acrisius at the hands of his daughter's son, so to prevent her from becoming pregnant, he had kept Danae prisoner at his palace with no access to potential mates. Little did he know that Zeus, king of gods and randy old perv, would seduce and impregnate Danae in the form of a "golden shower". To punish Acrisius for attempting to murder his son and baby mama, Zeus had Poseidon unleash the Kraken on Argos,  killing Acrisius and fulfilling the prophecy; albeit in a very roundabout way.

 

 

Zeus proceeded to play an integral role in young Perseus' life, bestowing on him all the perks of being the son of a god. He ensured Perseus' safe passage to Seriphos, an island paradise where mother and child could while away the hours strolling naked along the beach, working on their tans and perfecting the art of trick riding. Perseus grows up to be a young man, blessed with good looks and an over abundance of self confidence. He is also totally devoid of charisma.

 

When spiteful sea god Thetis teleports Perseus to Joppa (specifically to force him to experience some 'real world' problems), Zeus demands that the gods gift Perseus with a super sharp sword, a shiny new shield, a robot owl sidekick, and best of all, a helmet that would make its wearer invisible. Perseus doesn't waste a single moment before using said helmet to break into the bedroom of the hottest chick in town, Princess Andromeda. Andromeda has been cursed by Thetis, so that any man who wishes to marry her must first answer a question, supplied by Thetis' love spurned son Calibos. Incorrect answers win the suitor death by immolation.

 

 

Upon discovering Andromeda's predicament, Perseus uses his invisibility helmet to sneak a look at the test. This enables him to stroll into the royal palace unannounced, present Andromeda with the severed hand of her ex-boyfriend, and win the competition. Thus, he can marry Andromeda and become king of Joppa - none of which would have been possible without a sprinkle of courage, a dash of magic, and a heaping pile of nepotism.

 

At its time of release, Clash of the Titans was clearly targeted at a young demographic, despite its depictions of violence, nudity and grotesque deformities. Action figures, colouring books and a board game were amongst the merchandise that was available; however, no official trading card set was released. To see more custom made trading cards from Clash of the Titans (and a bunch of others that never existed), follow the link or hit the tab at the top of the page.

The Secret Mutant Powers of Abuela Madrigal

"Welcome to the family Madrigal."

Columbia, the turn of the century. Alma meets Pedro Madrigal and falls in love. They marry and, soon after, Alma gives birth to triplets. The War of a Thousand Days wreaks bloody havoc across the country, eventually reaching the newly wed Madrigals' once idyllic town. They flee into the mountains by candlelight and are pursued by soldiers, hellbent with murderous intent. Pedro stands his ground and is killed. In a moment of intense grief, Alma's mutant gene is activated, resulting in a firestorm that engulfs the soldiers and reduces them to dust. Using her telekinetic powers, she constructs a rocky encanto that protects the villagers from their persecutors. At the centre of this fortified sanctuary, Alma creates a casita, into which she bestows a portion of her psyche; possessing it like a ghost would a haunted house. The candle that Pedro gave Alma before his death is also transformed into a physical manifestation of her gift. Alma convinces the townspeople and her family that this 'miracle' has come from an outside source, and that the candle must be protected - through "work and dedication." During periods of inner turmoil, however, the candlelight wavers and is inevitably extinguished when Alma's carefully constructed world collapses - not from the whim of an unseen godlike benefactor, but from her own emotional state of being.

"But something inside them is growing."

When the Madrigal triplets come of age, they each exhibit supernatural powers of their own: Julieta has the ability to heal, Pepa can control the weather and Bruno is precognitive. Alma's grandchildren also develop super powers, all except for Julieta's daughter Mirabel; or so it would seem. In fact, Mirabel's powers rival those of her abuela Alma; although, for the most part, they are dormant. Without conscious effort, Mirabel can move at extraordinary speed (or slow down time) and see events before they transpire. And at the end of the film, she subsumes Alma's telekinetic abilities.

"The unspoken, invisible pain."

Alma's trauma at the loss of her husband manifests as a compulsive need for perfection, to the detriment of her family. Of her children, Pepa is the most affected by her mother's psychosis, resulting in her own bipolar condition. Bruno also bears the psychological scarring caused by an emotionally distant parent. His OCD behaviour escalates when he exiles himself after having a vision of Mirabel as the catalyst for the dysfunctional Madrigal family's breakdown. 

 

"Under the surface, I'm pretty sure I'm worthless."

Alma's grandchildren are also affected by her matriarchal tendencies; particularly Mirabel's sisters, who buckle under the constant pressure of perfection that Alma demands. Isabella lashes out at those who would undermine the facade she has created to protect herself, while Louisa's self doubt eventually inhibits her super strength, rendering her powerless. When Mirabel discovers the secret truth of the Madrigal family, that the 'miracle' is intrinsically linked to her abuela's emotions, Alma dampens the abilities of all the Madrigals in retaliation. 

 

"The miracle is you, not some gift, just you."

It's only when Alma accepts responsibility for her toxic behaviour that her family's powers are restored, and Mirabel's powers truly awaken. Mirabel suffuses the new casita with part of her own psyche, supplanting Alma as the Madrigal matriarch and securing their dominion and rule over the village for another fifty years.